Forgetting, a Curse or a Blessing?

Hi guys! I apologize for not updating my blog lately, but with the holidays plus my own issues had me busy and too weighed down to write anything remotely good or inspirational. I'm back to writing now and hope to update every three to five days, if I miss my deadline, school or other plans kept me from posting. Now for todays post.

Some people may think forgetting is a blessing, but is it really? The answer, I cannot give to you, you have to decide that for yourself as I have.

In the past, I made myself forget all the bad things that happened to me from the age of eleven to the age I am now. In doing so, I feel as if I forgot everything even before eleven years old, because when I tried to remember a memory that I cherished, I could not remember without help from someone who had been there.

One such event was when I first met my best-friend Julie. I couldn't remember a thing about meeting her, all I knew is she and I met at a homeschool meeting around 2007 or 2008. I think, Hannah and I introduced ourselves and it may have been my idea (if that happened), if not, then Julie introduced herself to us. The memory is still fuzzy about how we started talking, (as you can tell) the only time I remember is when I talk to her on the phone and she reminisces about the past-good times.

Another lost-now-revived memory was created in 2012 or 2013. My homeschool group had a field trip to the Whetstone Refinery in Arkansas. Hannah and her family came while Julie wasn't there, there was this guy (as known as my boyfriend today) I liked who had recently joined the group and he and his family came, However, I thought he'd never like a gal like me, so I pushed the feelings aside and treated him as nothing more than an acquaintance. Years later, I went to a Blue Grass concert in old Washington and I invited a guy to meet us there, after the concert was over he and I were reminiscing and the conversation turned to all those years ago at the sandstone place and I said, "Wait, you were there?!" He looked at me with a slightly shocked face. I can't remember exactly how the conversation went but the jest of it was, he was shocked that I remembered his mom and brother being there and them arriving in a white van but did not remember him. Then I explained I forgot BECAUSE I liked him and because I regretted not talking to him, thus forgetting it like an awful memory (keep in mind this took me a good while to remember the reason why the memory was forgotten in the first place), he then forgave me for forgetting and I tried to not beat myself up about forgetting. An awkward-sad-true tail.

These two memories are good examples of why forgetting is a curse. In one case I forgot a truly memorable day. In the other I forgot a memory that would have made things a lot easier and wouldn't have made, my now boyfriend, feel unimportant if it had not been forgotten.

The reasons why forgetting is a blessing I don't even have to tell you, because I'm sure we have all had embarrassing moments and trying situations we have forgotten and are glad we did.

In reality though, forgetting is not all it's cracked up to be. As of late, It has been quite the opposite for me, especially when you are trying to dig your way out of depression and can't remember anything spectacular that happened to you or something you did for someone that made their whole day or week even. For this reason, I have been digging a deeper hole for myself and not even trying to make my way up and out, I just saw myself as a failure who wasn't going anywhere. If not for my awesome friends reminding me everyday why I am alive and some recent test scores to be proud of, I would still be in the dumps of self-pity and self-destruction.

I've learned the harder I tried to forget the past the more it made remembering the good memories fade. So, the moral of today is, think before you forget or risk loosing something of value to you, the reasons you live for, and the reasons you smile.

#Myexperiences #Lifelessons